big girls are best

ah, leave it to bono to pick me up when i'm feelin' blue:

those little girls are a pest
big girls are the best

i've been getting up at least a good 3 of the 5 work-week mornings around 6 am to schlep down to the little glorified weight room at the new office to work out. i felt like i was doing pretty well, but the change from summer to fall and fall to winter always brings about that dreaded horror of pouring yourself into last season's flannel pants and tiny cropped cardigans with the squish and pudge of an entire year's passage of time. and gravity. and suddenly clothes that you remember liking - remember thinking were even kind of flattering - take on the look of an argyle sausage casing. not a good look, no matter what the season.

it's really the gravitational shift that has me the most concerned. this pooch around the upper thigh that materialized out of nowhere. the droop of otherwise spectacular bustline.

i have officially given up the quest for thinness. it wasn't a reasonable goal, i like most of my curves, and i don't think my rib cage or pelvic bones are really going to shrink appreciably no matter how many desserts i forego. no, svelte curvaciousness is my gold standard. and i only have to shimmy out of 15 lbs to be at the weight i have determined to be my ideal healthy weight for my height. with the help of those nifty online body index calculators.

anyway, sometimes i do think being thin and beautiful would solve all my problems. i'm sure it would create new ones as well. like what would i do with all my fabulous clothes? (i'm thinking most longingly of my extensive array of much-loved fancypanties and the Blue Dress specifically)....

no worries about extra bulk, or seductive skivvies, or silk dresses for the time being. it's a miserable pre-winter mess out there today. and parkas make for excellent camoflage.