caring is creepy

i gave Epic Ex his wedding gift today at church. we chatted warmly and he hugged me. i walked up to my pew and started choking. choking. staring at the stained glass windows begging the tears to stop immediately and leave me the hell alone. the next time i see him he will be married.

Epic Ex had these funny little nobby knobs on the top of his head. like large-ish bumps or smallish-ish cyst-like things. i always found them rather endearing. apparently he has had them removed since the last time i saw him, because when he bent down to tuck the gift into his bag, they were glaringly absent. i do remember seeing him with a band-aid on his head about a month ago, but it didn't occur to me at the time that he was having his head-bumps removed. i do not know why i care. at all. but i do. made me wonder if he will also have his back waxed for the occasion? is it normal for my heart to feel like its trying to gnaw its way out of my chest? hmmm?

for the love of all that is Good and Holy, someone please tell me when i am going to STOP caring?

perhaps never.

i guess i'll have to be OK with that.