paperweight

every time i sit down to write lately, i tell myself that i really need to write about something other than Yale, but really, i don't have anything more interesting to write about.

i could tell you that the marathon training is going well but grueling. that i ran 18 miles on sunday and then wanted to do nothing but lay flat and bemoan my ridiculous decision to try this crazy idea for the rest of the day. (i didn't do that - i went to bongo room with JM and JM and eventually spent the evening with Yale, but i felt REALLY disgusting for several hours after the run).

i could tell you that work is going better even though sometimes my boss seems mad as a hatter and i dance on egg shells around her and still manage to never get things quite right.

i could tell you that the planning for the portugal build is going pretty well, even though i would like very much to be DONE interviewing teammates and just get this show on the road.

see? not that interesting.

what IS interesting is that last night Yale and i had our 3rd pretty serious conversation about getting married this summer. the first couple of conversations to this end were essentially hypotheticals. like "IF we were to get married at some point, when do you think you would want to do that?" or he would talk with me about his job search plans and where he may apply for faculty jobs in the fall and preface those convos with "all these plans of course depend at least a little bit on what happens with you and me and our future plans together". stuff like that. but last night was more like "i know i want to spend the rest of my life with you. and you don't have to say anything right now, but i want you to know that that is where i am" and me going "ummm.... sounds good to me! but can we wait a little while before we get engaged because i really would like more time to just date you and get to know you before we drag months of planning and decisions and stress into this" and he agreed. and then said "but i don't think i can wait too long now that i know for sure you're on the same page".

the same page. i am. on the same page. about wanting to marry him. even more so after last night than i was already letting myself start to think.

we had a really strange, really great evening of attempting to go to a church together with an evening service and Yale getting so upset by something the pastor said that he scribbled me a little note that said that he couldn't stay listening to that any longer, and he had to leave, and i could stay if i wanted to but that he would be outside. but of course i followed him out. and we had a great, long, important conversation about what had happened and what had upset him so much and i fell in love with him a little more, even though i actually kind of disagreed with some of his arguement. and we returned and had dinner and awesome conversations with Roommate and i fell in love with him even a little more. so when i walked with him to his car and he tells me that he fell more in love with ME because of our conversations that night, and that he is sure that i am the girl for him, i didn't have any hesitation to affirm his hope that we are, in fact, on the same page.

so anyway, that's the news. thought it was better to just put it out there than to have a mob of bewildered friends and family shake their heads in disbelief if i turn up engaged in the next couple of months.

consider yourself informed :)

i'm still shaking MY head in disbelief. i never EVER thought it could go like this for me.

and do i have to change the name of my blog??
hmmm.... i'll think about that.