ever since Yale and i got engaged, i have gotten the occasional "how did you know he was The One?" question.
i could give lots of answers.
i could pull out the old "he has so many of the qualities i always knew i wanted, and so many that i didn't even know i wanted." (true, but also, gag.). i could tell you about how awesome he is, how much he cares for people, how much he loves Jesus, how smart he is. i could tell you how i feel great when i am with him. or if we are really close friends, i'll tell you about all our ridiculous inside jokes and silliness (sorry roommate, you know about these all too well). standard "he is The One because he is so great"stuff. good stuff. but it doesn't really answer the question.
the question is, how do i know that Yale is The One?
i know this is an important question. before i met him, i always wanted to know this from other people. happy couples. the couples in which each person is so excited about the other one. the couples where both he and she smirk with the secret knowledge they are the one who got the better deal in this relationship. both people think they won the jackpot. that is always the kind of marriage i wanted. and that is what i am getting.
how did i know that Yale was The One? no one wants to hear "i just knew" because it feels like a cop out. too untouchable, intolerably ephemeral. it always bugged the hell out of me when someone would tell me that they "just knew". because "i just knew" was not something i could be on the lookout for. it was not something i could add to a relationship checklist. it felt too emotional. too sentimental. and it is, sort of. but it's also true.
i know he is The One because i know.
because i feel the sunshine of his love. because i feel the light of God's love in a different way because of our relationship. he and i experience it differently and express it differently, but the bottom line is that he is The One i've been waiting for.
sometimes i feel like i need to reign in my excitement/gooshiness/bride-to-be nonsense so that i still have friends when the wedding is over. and i'm sensitive that it can be extra annoying to people i love who are single. but i'm sitting here today with just about one month to go before we get married. i'm excited and nervous and overwhelmed with all the things that still need to get done before may 30. but, as people keep reminding me, at the end of the day Yale and i will be married whether we run out of spiked lemonade or not. it will be a good day. and i can't wait.
2 comments:
Or maybe there isn't a "one." Maybe there are just choices. That's what I think. It's not as romantic and misty to think about your honey that way, but I believe it's more realistic, with the added benefit of being more stable.
Because what if someone thinks they're marrying "the One," and then one day they wake up and say, "OMG, I made a mistake! He ISN'T the One! that other person is!"
Sorry. I still think you both are adorable, and have both made an excellent choice.
thanks E!
you know, i actually agree with you about the idea of "the one". i asked my brother once several years ago whether he thought there was such a thing as "the one". he was 19 at the time. and he replied -
"well, i guess i believe that we are meant to marry one person in our lives, so that means that i believe that there will someday be one person that the Lord brings into my life at the right time and she will want to marry me and i will want to marry her. and that will make us each other's "the one"".
pretty wise and thoughtful for a college kid, i think. but you're right, it is about choices. i agree.
and i also agree that Yale is totally adorable, and an excellent choice! :)
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