Disappointment

Most of the disappointments of my overall very charmed life have been of the annoying and/or deflating variety. The shoes on sale are not in your size. You have gained 4 pounds since your last check up. Berkeley will NOT be admitting you in the fall. Green Wedding Shoes isn't going to feature your wedding snaps on their blog.

Boo.

Overall, my life is more than a little rosy. I have a husband I adore, and an apartment that is getting cuter and calmer every day. The moths have disappeared thanks to our merciless mass killings and traps. It is summer, so I can wear sundresses to cover up the "newlywed 9" beginning to tighten my skirts. My friends are awesome, the job is chill for the moment, and another very cool wedding blog WILL, in fact, be featuring our wedding photos later this week.

So really, I have absolutely no room for sniping or growling. And there have been all kinds of subtle and not-so-subtle reminders popping up all over the place that a life of abundance, gratitude, simplicity, and what I really want and long for.

So what happens when a happy little longing is smashed down? The old pessimism cropped up again yesterday when, through a series of unfortunate events and miscommunications, the lovely little dog we believed we were about to adopt was given to someone else. By accident. After we had gone out and gotten all the little dog things, made room for him, laughed about names and researched vegetarian dog food. Despite all the incredible goodness already in my life, I burst into tears and had a meltdown. And I felt crappy for many hours. The old pessimism reminded me that I should not have gotten my hopes up until he was in the car with us. That these types of delicate matters are best stomached with a low-grade cynicism and squinty-eyed reserve.

But that hadn't stopped me (us) from deliberating about funny squid-shaped dog toys vs. frog-shaped dog toys. (We don't want to encourage chewing on small woodland creatures, but a sea creature, we figured, was safe from our little one's chompers). Ridiculous? Maybe. Yeah, probably. But so it goes.

We're looking at other little fluff balls online, and reminding ourselves that at the very least, he has a new home and is not stuck in a shelter or something somewhere. We will be on a mission to adopt a less pefect dog. I'll try to keep my hopes... level.