Hey Ya (Shake it, Shake it...)

I have not been very, um, disciplined about my health lately.  (As I lean away from my keyboard to shovel a forkful of veggie fried rice into my mouth).  I do manage to do a lot of walking every day, between the train commute and 3 brisk jaunts with Auggie.  And I do occasionally drag my butt to yoga with Roommate.  But cardio has been non-existent since last fall, and my diet consists primarily of sweets and carbs.

I'll have a spurt of healthy cooking or a random run here or there, but for the most part, I am the unhealthiest I have EVER been.  I honestly can't remember the last time I was this exercise deficient or this wanton with my wontons.  I ate half an Ann Sather's cinnamon roll (aka: fat bomb) for breakfast; a rare Friday Work Treat from a colleague, which was ingested AFTER the hot cocoa, cereal, and chunk of scone I had had at home.   Last night's dinner consisted of  soup, cookie, cheese, and pretzels.  That's about par for the course these days.  The cinnamon roll was so delicious, I was inspired to re-think my whole eating philosophy in order to make safe room to enjoy celebratory breakfast sweet bread once in a while without wanting to jump in front of a bus afterward. 

There was a big "premium denim warehouse sale" going on today at the train station at lunch time.  I decided to walk over.  I've never been to one, but figured it couldn't hurt to browse.  After sifting through rows of "Who in their right mind would pay $200 for jeans that look like they have already been worn for 15 years?" fashion statements, I walked cautiously to the curtained-off area with 2 pairs of jeans and a top.  When the women's fitting area curtain parted, I walked into a a huge room of half-clothed women shimmying into last season's it-jeans.  Imagine what you look like when you are trying on jeans in a fitting room.  Now imagine doing that in a room full of people.  It was a train wreck.  It was all I could do to keep from laughing.  At myself, at womankind, at the fashion industry that goads us to lunacy.

The woman on my right was a spare size 4ish.  Yet even the young and willowy complained to her friend that the jeans she had on were just "too big" and they gave her "square-ass".  Of course I had to look.  And sure enough, her tiny little butt looked like a perfect square.  The woman on my left sheepishly tried on pair after pair while her 6-or-so month old watched bemusedly from her baby stroller.  The three of us were sharing a mirror among the melee.  When it was my turn to look, I just heaved a sigh and put my $12 Target jeans back on.  Designer denim or no, my muffin top could surely find a better fit with more forgiving seams.    

I will say this about the women of Chicago:  Well done with the everyday underwear!  I was impressed by the fancy underpinnings on display all around me.  I guess I can't hold too tightly to my pride in wearing ONLY cute underthings EVERY day.  Looks like many of my fellow women are sporting the lace and thongs on any given weekday as well. 

Anyway, all this to say, by the grace of God I feel like I am finally scrambling out from under the oppression of self-hate and learning to love the body that I've got.  Which is great and all.  And it is really nice to just look at my soft curves in the mirror and think "Ok.  You can do better.  But today, rock that skirt."  Somewhere, though, health has to come into the mix.  You know, like not wanting to die before 60.  There are things I could be doing to tip the scales in my favor for that.   Like eating more than just the tiny specks of vegetables that look like they accidentally fell into my greasy rice bowl.  Or, how about some waist-whittling cardio to keep some of those nasty fat-loving diseases away from me. 

Winter is never an easy time to get back on the healthy bandwagon.  But I would hate to wake up in the spring and realize that I'm unable to run 3 miles or hold plank pose for more than 15 seconds, or keep up with AugDog on a walk.  Or, gasp!, not be able to fit into any of my fun warm weather clothes.  They are going to wait patiently for me all winter.  The least I can do is still be able to wear them come May.