You're So Vain

Blogging is a very strange exercise. You get to self-publish pretty much anything you want, and anyone in the whole world can read it. It's fun, easy, and gratifying. I do think that God may have actually used blogging to help me grow, process, and express some pretty important personal struggles. And I think it has bolstered my mental and emotional health in several deep ways. But it can be a double-edged sword.

By its very nature, it is a supremely self focused thing to do, and I've been reminded of that in several weird ways this week.

First, I was lolling about the internet, and decided to see if Red Door Animal Shelter had a facebook page. We got dear Augs from Red Door this summer, and I had just read an article about shelters using social media to help get their furry guests' stories and photos out to the cute-loving masses. And lo and behold, Red Door did have a FB page. And a blog. So of course, I had to send a thank you to the page admin to give them an update about the Augster and to slyly let them know that Aug had a blog of his own. Much to my delight, they shared the AugBlog with their FB community of over 1,300 readers. Oh, how I loved to see the "like" numbers climb, read the comments about how adorable our pup is, and watch the blog stats creep up to affirm that it is not just Hubs and me who check it out.

But then I got an (offline, from an aquaintance) inquiry as to how much time do I actually have on my hands, that I can write such a silly blog. I may (almost) be able to let some derision of the AugBlog roll off my back.  I cannot take myself too seriously when I am writing a blog for my dog. But that didn't stop me from obsessively checking and re-checking the blog traffic to assure myself that people ENJOY it, and like to see his cute pictures.

And I also may have traipsed back over to ElizabethAnneDesigns website to see how many tweets, "like"s, comments, and other "shares" had racked up on our wedding post since she posted it in June. Because it's nice to be "like"-ed. (65 times! Woot!). I hadn't been back to that page in a while, so it was very nice to see.

I've found myself wondering if perhaps I am a little too eager about the NEW blog. Like, who really cares whether I have gray roots, or whether I use vinegar and water to wash my bathroom mirror instead of purchased spray? Have I slid so far down the narcissistic slope that I don't even realize that I spend more time navel-gazing than star gazing? Am I going to end up just writing about life instead of LIVING?

I hope not. Because I have not been this excited about something in a long time.

One way that I have traditionally guaged how self-centered I am behaving/or thinking in any given situation is how frequently I write or say the word "I". If you look at this blog post, you'll see that it is riddled with "I"s.

There is nothing really that terrible about memoirs, personal essays, or blogs, I guess, but it has driven me to pray in a new way about this new endeavor. Because the whole point of the G3 blog is to be freer, lighter, and more outward focused, so if it really just becomes an outlet for "Me! Me! Me! Everyone Look At ME!", will someone please smack me? It's hard to see straight sometimes from this side of blogland.

 But I do hope that people will read it. And like it. And think that it is helpful.  There is surprisingly little faith/green/whole-being stuff out there. So thanks SO much to all of you who have encourged me about GreenGrayGrace. Let's all promise to keep me accountable, K?