The Cave

And I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
on the noose around your neck

And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again
- Mumford and Sons, "The Cave"

Forgive me some philosophical verbal processing....

How do you pray for dear ones who are in a season of desolation? How do you love them? Care for them? I confess I do not have the greatest track record for loving well when the going gets (really) tough. There have been, over the past 10 years or so, some crises in friends' lives during which I have sat limp and useless. Sometimes I've just chalked up my lameness to feeling overwhelmed by my own stuff. Sometimes I've just been scared. Or worse, judgey or selfish.

I want the Lord to mold me into a person that hurting people can lean on, and I think He's been working on it through the valleys of my own grief.

Anyway, I've been thinking about the Mumford and Sons song, and my determination to Be a Good Friend to a life-long dear one who suddenly finds herself in a really heartbreaking situation. Even though I have no idea what to do besides pray, and listen.

The Cave is a song that baffled me the first few times I heard it. Just last week, someone posted those same chorus lyrics as her facebook status, and I immediately emailed her to make sure everything was OK. Is this a hopeful song or a sad song to a peppy tune?  Everything was fine, she said, and she sent me the link to the video for the song. She promised that that would give me the insight into her emotional state that I needed. Hopeful. Jubilant, even, that the past can be the past, and every day is a new day.

And so, to avoid slogging any of you into the pits of despair, I want to encourage you to go on YouTube and watch the video.

This time, and from now on when someone does share the terrible pain and sorrow of her life with me, I can remember that I can change my ways. I'll hear the call to walk alongside someone in suffering.

In college, I sent the hurting friend in question a little card with Winnie the Pooh holding an umbrella that said "We have been friends together in sunshine and in rain". When mom died, she sent it back to me. A quiet and powerful reminder of the deep bonds of tender hearts.  If I could find it, I would send it back to her now. And so it goes.