On the market

Mom's house has been on the market for a few months now, and we haven't had any serious offers. We've lowered the price twice, and are prepared to go a bit lower before we Totally Freak Out and Throw Things. The property taxes are due. We just paid the home owners insurance. And even though it is only July 3 and it's about 97 degrees today, it will be fall before you know it. And if we're still sitting on that house by October, we'll be in some deep yogurt, as my mom would say.

We knew this was not going to be easy. What hadn't exactly occurred to me is how much the process could strain relationships. My siblings and I get along well, and I have been impressed by how well we've worked together already. But it has been over three years since Mom died, and the tedium, anxiety and financial burden have started to rub us raw. We each have a different  figure in our heads as to what is "the lowest we will go". We have different styles, skills, and pain tolerances. And I live 20 hours away, which means, quite rightly, that my percentage of "say" has been diminished my my diminished capacity to do what needs to be done in a timely fashion.

It has been eye-opening to see my siblings in action in this situation. I'm the oldest, and I'm used to my self-appointed role as In Charge Of Pretty Much Everything Important. But I've realized over the last couple of years that I'm not as awesome as I think I am, and my little siblings are extremely capable, professional, and diligent. Three things that I have not always been since we started emptying the house 3 years ago, even before Les and I moved. 

It's humbling. My little sister and my little brother have dazzled me with sides of them and talents I rarely get to see, and it makes me feel even more protective of the relationships we have. And it makes me even more thankful for the parents we had, who somehow managed to raise up a small band of artists and dreamers and schemers into three upstanding and well adjusted adults. It would be going to far to say that we are "doing just fine without them". Wouldn't everyone prefer to defer to their parents for the hard decisions? That there would be a buffer between you and the harsh realities of real estate and taxes and negotiations? But given the circumstances, I'd say we're doing the best that we can. 

After a few weary emails and texts with my siblings the other night and some disappointing information about our property lines (long story), I had a melt down and realized that for some reason I hadn't really prayed for the house to sell. I hadn't really prayed about the situation at all, and I felt like an idiot. I don't believe in a genie God who will give you your wish if you ask nicely with your hand on a Bible. But suddenly all the anxiety and money woes and family tension and layers of sadness and angst about the house just exploded into a snotty-nosed heaving sob of a prayer. And I thanked God for the house, and for everything it had been for us, and for our parents, and for our family. I thanked Him for all the happy and all the sad things that happened there. I thanked Him that both of my parents were in the home that they loved when they made their way Home to eternity (funny, I think they left that info out of the real estate listing). And I asked Him to please close this chapter of our family's story quickly and smoothly, and to protect our hearts and relationships throughout the process.

I don't know what will happen with the house. But I felt better.