light my fire

blind date special report!

i had a very pleasant blind date last night. no crackle or spark, but wholly enjoyable.

ugh.

no one wants to use the words "pleasant" and "enjoyable" in the description of a date.

well, it's tricky. i want to be with someone that stirs up the butterflies in my stomach. i want to feel a spark, a connection, a buzz of heat. then again, i felt those things with The Fling this summer and with The Boy on and off, and we all know how those turned out. so what does the spark really tell me?

from what i can gather, a big part of the spark has to do with a guy's sexual presence. the way you feel them look at you with the glint of 'i'm thinking about you in a way that i would not think about my sister'. the spark that inspires you to dig into that flirtatious evolutionary bag of tricks - the hair flipping and the lip licking and the leg touching. what does that tell you about a guy and your potential connection to him? well, i suppose it tells you that you're both attracted the other in a sexual (and hopefully, though not necessarily, romantic) way.

other than that? i'm not really sure. i remember when i started dating Epic Ex, i was wary because even though i had had a crush on him for a month or so when he asked me out, it took me a loooooong time to feel sparkly. i did, eventually, fall in love with him and feel that spark, but it didn't happen immediately or easily.

i know plenty of couples who have met, fallen in love, and gotten married who would tell me that they have never had the "crazy in love" or fireworks. or they do have it, but not all the time, and not immediately upon meeting.

but somewhere, somewhere in my piscean, Jesus loving, romantic heart i feel like i will *know* pretty quickly when i meet the real thing. when i am face to face with my true partner. like a homecoming. an epic. the crackling of a fire building up to a roar.

that's what i want. too much to ask?

M showed himself to be a great listener, a warm hearted guy, a man of God, and arguably most crucially, a huge U2 fan. cute too. though he bares a striking resemblance to Epic Ex...

i would definitely go out with him again if he asks. the disappointment i guess is that i wouldn't be terribly disappointed if he doesn't.

should i go with my guy instinct and say that that should steer me away from him all together? or maybe i'm just not open to a good and gentle man when i see one. unless that good and gentle man also ignites a bright and sexual spark at the first meeting...