manic monday

ok, so actually it's more like 'manic weekend'. today i am too tired to be manic. too tired because i was truly, actually manic all weekend. i've used that word too many times already, but it is le mot just. juste? i can't remember. anyway.

when i use that word, i don't mean that i had a lot of energy or that i had a productive, busy couple of days. nope. it's more clinical than that. more like a compulsive energy coursing through me. as in i completed tasks that have sunk months of procrastination, i solved tricky problems that have baffled me for many a sleepless night, moved full sized furniture by myself, and i lifted boxes that i don't think i could lift today. if your puppy had been stuck under your SUV on saturday, i bet i could have hefted the vehicle up to my shoulder and snatched his quivvering furriness from the pavement with the other hand.

it sounds all well and good, but i'm actually kind of concerned. i mean, it does feel good to wake up early on a saturday after a sleepless night of list-making and then do the dishes, make an egg sandwhich for breakfast, clean your room, sort your laundry, make your bed, write out and address your christmas cards, load up the recycling and drive it out to the community bin, go to the post office, get a christmas tree, slog it up to your apartment all by yourself, clean out the front room, assemble some storage boxes from Ikea and relegate your roommate's most offensive untidynesses to the basement, re-organize the mantle, frame some posters you've been meaning to frame and hang them, decorate the christmas tree and string lights on the sun porch, wrap all your christmas presents and put them under the newly decorated tree, get ready to go out and go caroling, clean the bathroom, go caroling, come home and make a card and then go to bed.

that was just saturday.

i could not stop. i could not sit still. i could not stop moving. i tried, at one point, to sit down and eat lunch. it didn't work. i walked around with my sandwhich and continued to sort and purge and box up and move to the basement. i felt twitchy and anxious if i didn't just keep going going going. that's manic.

i've learned over the last couple of years to divert the mania to productive efforts when i feel it coming on. otherwise i could have just as easily gone shopping, or started cooking (and eating). or i would have flipped out and started crying for no discernable reason.

anyway. on sunday then i got home from church and re-arranged the entire living room and kitchen by myself. moved 2 couches, 2 tables, and two bookshelves around the apartment. swept, scrubbed, and organized.

and i felt MUCH better. for about 2 hours.

needless to say i haven't slept much lately. but, at least i have been busy with constructive rather than destructive activities.

if anyone needs their house painted or their DVDs alphabetized or their silver polished, i'm pretty open next weekend....