give it to me

you have had these days. where everything that could go wrong went...right? righter than expected.

when your heart is plied open with thankfulness and the warm glowy feeling that you are remembered and loved by the Eternal. sometimes my brain even wants to water it down with "feeling remembered by the universe", but i know it's really Jesus...

not about big things either. small things. it's almost always the small things.

i used a different purse yesterday than the one i set out with this morning. and somehow (you know where this is going) i failed to put my wallet in the 'today' purse. so i glibly get on the metra and stake my claim surfing the aisle in the back of a crowded car. the conductor moves through shouting 'rogers park tickets' and i reach into my purse and.... nothing. no train pass, no money, zip. nada. i didn't panic. surely they must have some kind of procedure for morons like me. or maybe he would let it slide. they see me every day, right? same time, monthly pass, huge white puffy coat. but this isn't the warm cuddly conductor of the second car. nope. it's the aloof and professional conductor of car 3. i tell him that i just realized i forgot my wallet. he tells me he'll be back.

i dig through my purse again trying to scrounge up $2.35 in random purse scraps. yeah right. there's about 47cents rumbling around in the bottom. i heave a sigh and wait for my sentence. will they heft me off the train? give me a fine of some sort? can i sneak into a different car?

a woman sitting in the seat next to me warmly hands me her punch ticket and tells me to go ahead and use one of her punches. she tells me she's definitely found herself in a similar pinch. thanks and relief wash over me, and i feel only a little guilty for using up roughly $3 of her more expensive pass. i made the mental note to do this for someone next time i have the opportunity. when was the last time i gave a random stranger $3? i don't even give homeless panhandlers $3....i thank her profusely and the guy sitting next to her can't help but smile too.

next stop, the bank. i have to get home somehow, and i don't have a dime. will they take a check made out to myself with no ID? aha! they will. they will because i dug around and found my old photo ID from my Northwestern job. thanks Jesus!

so, i know, tedious nothingness. definitely not worthy of a blog post. but wait! there's more.

my stomach has been growling since about 10am. i brought some pathetic 'women's health' recipe uberhealthy (read: tasteless and fiber-rich) soup for lunch and was grumbling to myself that if i broke down and broke my $20 to get something to eat, then i would have to go back to the bank to get some more cash to buy my $20 train pass....

and then, lo and behold in the break room was: Panera Sandwichs up for grabs! thanks to an underattended workshop at lunch today. thanks Jesus again! you rock.

so now, i'm full and calm and still have cashola for the train pass. and thankful for the random un-randomness of being reminded that everything is under control. maybe not MY control, but, ya know...