buzz buzz buzz

thanks y'all for all your great supportive comments about my work debacle. i get to try to redeem myself at a program meeting at 1:30 today, so please keep your prayin' fingers on for me!

and thanks to everyone who has inquired about the progress with Yale.

i met him in person for the first time on friday night, since he was having dinner only about 2 miles from where i live, and he called and asked if he could come by. so we went for a walk around the neighborhood for about 2 hours. we talked about all kinds of things, mostly serious, but some silly. i searched my body and brain for any signs of romantic/physical attraction and settled into a calm place of "maybe". maybe. hard to say.

but then yesterday he and i spent 6 hours walking around the morton arboretum. well, several hours walking and slapping mosquitos and a good chunk of time lying in the grass and talking and throwing clover at each other. i was never bored, there are still a zillion things i want to ask him about, and the more we talked the more i warmed to him. he admitted that he tends towards the heavy and serious, but i was also relieved to see some dorky silliness as well. we do have a lot in common, at least in terms of how we look at the world. which is a good start. and he seems to think that i am brilliant and funny and cute, so i will try not to hold that against him...

honestly. what is wrong with me? why do i assume that anyone who could have any interest in my must have something wrong with him, or an ulterior motive? well, there's more to it than that, i guess. i have a pretty strong and important idea of what "the guy for me" will be like, and i am comparing everyone to that rubric. i'm trying to be open, but i've also waited way too long to settle.

cute thing #1: we were walking around in the forest and discovered this bumblebee buzzing frantically on its back in the path. i knelt down with a flower i had picked (yes, i picked a flower at the arboretum) and tried to nudge him back onto his feet. to no avail. so Yale and I spent a good several minutes crouching over this spazzing bumble bee until he finally got him to hug a twig and be deposited safely on his feet in a bush next to the path. i found this whole scenario to be incredibly cute. and melty.

cute thing #2: he is a dork. like a real one, and it makes me happy.

we had dinner at a hole-in-the-wall chinese place, and hugged sweetly when we left. now if i could just feel compelled to want to kiss him, we might actually go somewhere with this whole new thing. we'll see....he definitely wants to see me again. and sent me an email this morning pretty much just to say that he had a great day with me yesterday, and that i am cute.

not so bad.