single ladies

i'm not usually such a huge fan of beyonce, but i gotta say i LOVE the song 'single ladies'. LOVE IT. bought it on itunes and put it on my running music playlist. not that i have ever been in the exact situation described in the song, but the pathos is right on target.

i've never read the book "he's just not that into you" and i only enjoyed the movie with lukewarm enthusiasm. but i was teetering on some crushing boredom this morning at work and clicked my way through my msn.com homepage to an interactive page of the oprah website where viewers shared their relationship plights and the HJNTIY author guy gave them the totally expected smack down of "he's just not that into you".


why oh why was i reading this?


well, i guess because i'm sifting around for some direction, now that eharmony has turned me into a multiple-guy-meeting monster. obviously, sunday coffee date guy is not that into me. never heard from him again after our abrupt parting. and most of the other twittering communiques with the other eharmony guys have all but fizzled out as well, thanks to my probably ill-advised focus on Yale. i'm not a 4-guys-at-a-time kind of girl, for sure. and it's hard for me to flirt with Rockford Guy when i'm really waiting with twitchy keyboard fingers for a message from Yale. it makes me feel icky. not attractive, not flirty. icky.


so what, if anything, did i glean from the HJNTIY oprah page? a couple of helpful nuggets of encouragement. like if someone is really into me, he'll be excited about me: meeting my friends, introducing me to his, wanting to see me/talk to me/hang out with me, etc. sounds like a no-brainer, right? like for example. adorable (much younger) work friend here is totally and completely smitten with someone and it is glowing out of him. it's the first time since i started working here that he has a smile on his face more often than not. he's excited. he's in deep smit. so what does it mean that Yale and i email every day, and we've talked on the phone once, and he'll say things like "i'd love to go to the arboretum with you sometime!" but he never actually PLANS A DATE? still haven't met him in person, or had any actual suggestions towards that end, after a month of emails.

another one: 'don't waste the pretty'. i take that to mean that i'm not getting any younger. don't settle for someone who doesn't want what i want, and who is not sure that he's attracted to me. not sure if that's how the author meant it, but that's how i'm going to interpret it. and the final, corniest, but also still cheesily resonant couple of lines from the article: 'you only have one life. shouldn't it just be awesome? shouldn't he be digging you?'


yeah yeah i know that it's not awesome all the time, even when you're in love. but man, shouldn't it at least start out awesome? i hope so.

so, Yale, if you think that this is going to go anywhere, could you kindly get off your smartypants butt and get some traction behind it? there are several dozen other eharmony guys vying for the chance to flirt with me and then disappear! i'm not gettin' any younger.