ghost

there are lots of things i could write about today, and maybe i will post more when i get home.

but i felt the chilly shivver of hearing someone laugh just like my mom at work today, and i'm trying to stop up my ears so that it will stay in my head.

one of those things you hadn't remembered that you had forgotten.

i don't want to forget.

that, plus i had my first really salient "mom dream" last night. she had driven into the city to work on wedding plans with me, and we sat on the couch and i showed her pictures in magazines, and we talked about where we would put the tent in the yard if it rained. and she said i could use flowers from her flowerbed if i wanted to. a good dream. until i woke up and remembered that it didn't happen.

so many good and beautiful and happy things happened this weekend. maybe that is why she is in my head today in such sparkly realness.

i miss her. every day, but today especially.