brand new day

new life, new blog title.

didn't seem right to keep the old one anymore. i even considered making a whole new blog, since it sort of feels like a whole new life.

i woke up on monday morning and remembered with a funny smile that i am a wife.

not that that somehow happened mysteriously in my sleep, but it did sort of feel like the whole weekend, including the wedding, was a total blur.

weird weird weird.

it was a completely and utterly beautiful day. every single thing about it was amazing. i cannot wait to see more pictures, since it still feels so much like a dream. it got to feel like dream for me because there were about 40 people who worked their butts off to put it together. the debt of gratitude is almost heavy, but not quite. big. challenging. overwhelming. to have such incredible friends, and even more incredible that they are still happy and still love me and were able to have a good time after all the zillions of hours of work. that is truly ahhh-mazing.

sitting in the car in my wedding dress, driving over to the house to see Yale for the first time for our photo opps before the ceremony, i really felt lightheaded and had to do some yoga breathing and sip some cold water. i was so excited i almost couldn't breathe. and seeing him so handsome in his suit, and so so happy to see me, it was almost too much. we got to be together for a few minutes while the hoooonies snapped photos, and then we lined up for the ceremony.

after Yale's parents walked in, my brother nate lit two candles in hurricanes that sat on a little table where the chairs for my parents would have been. nate escorted me, and i was shaking so hard he actually gripped me with both hands. i really do not remember most of the ceremony except for a few things:

1. aaron made a sly nod to Bono in the homily, and i did a little kick of joy and people laughed

2. i had to whisper my vows because i was starting to cry and didn't think i could say them with my actual voice without having a meltdown

3. when Yale picked up the ring to put on my finger, he accidentally grabbed his own ring, and aaron had to whisper "take the small one" to him, and we all giggled

4. the homily was beautiful, but i don't remember much of anything that he said

5. i wished that the recessional music had blasted a little louder when we walked out

i missed a lot of people that day. i missed them, but since my girls and i had had a pre-getting ready sob fest and prayer marathon in my room before the hair and makeup got underway, i managed to make it through the day without totally losing it.

i'm so glad we had this huge lovely party at the house. it was such a great way to honor my parents and have one big last hurrah in the place that i always thought was the most beautiful place in the world when i was a kid. all my friends got to see it that way too, at least for one day.

we chose isaiah 61 as one of our passages for the ceremony. those verses mean so much to me, for a lot of reasons, but one of the verses talks about the Lord adorning you in garments of praise instead of mourning and ashes. the last time many of those friends and family were in rockford together had been exactly 365 days previous, when we celebrated mom's life at her memorial. i cannot even express in words how awesome it was to have everyone there to celebrate our wedding on the same date, at our house, in that field, and feel mom and dad all around us.

magnificent, beautiful day.