Love the Way You Lie

I don't feel like I am reeeaally tempted to lie very often. I guess I do probably enhance, smooth over, estimate, round up, round down, or omit information pretty regularly, and in a way that seems so natural it barely registers a twinge of recognition.  But premeditated, self-serving lies, that's another story.

I was sitting in a hot mess of temptation all week this week after I realized that I had failed to do something fairly major at work that was now too late to correct.  I was the only one who needed to know about it.  I could just submit the report without amending the information. It was assumed that I had completed it, and my boss and two VPs believed I had done this marketing task back in November.  But I didn't.  I forgot.  And, very inconveniently, our numbers for this particular program were significantly down from last year.  Do I think that my mistake caused the drop-off in participation?  No.  I think there are at least a dozen reasons why fewer people participated last year.  Could the fact that I failed to send out 10 letters really make that big of a difference? Probably not.  But when you look at my "to-do" list, it falls to me to make sure those 10 offices got info about the program.

It was incredibly tempting to just lie and say I mailed the stupid letters.  I seriously contemplated that for FOUR DAYS.  Lost sleep, felt nauseous, even convinced myself that I must look for a new job, because I keep making these lame mistakes. (I am looking, but not just because of this).

Well, this morning I had an idea. What if I just talk to the VP who asked me to send the letters and explain to him that I made a mistake, and suggest a way to make it right?  What if I could then go to my boss with an action plan, rather than just a confession? So, that's what I did. Came clean.  Told the truth. Admitted that I had not done what they thought I had done. He was incredibly gracious about it.  He told me not to worry about it, and "not to lose any sleep over it".  Man, I wish I had called him on Monday....

Anyway, the shorter version is: I was worried sick all week that this was going to be such a big deal that I should actually lie to get out of taking the responsibility for it.  But, thankfully, I didn't. Because I'm pretty sure the guilt would have been much longer lasting than the worry. And really, I don't want to be the kind of person who lies to her boss. And her boss's boss. Especially over some stupid letters.