I Know What I Know

I'm going on record. I want this NC job. I want it a lot. I haven't heard back yet about whether there is a next step, or if I am still in consideration, or if they have eliminated me, or what, but I can tell you that I want the job.

The stiff, brisk, not-ready-for-winter wind that blasted me in the face this morning and the particularly deflating work meeting just sort of sealed the deal today. It is very possible that I will not be offered the job. I don't have "the sense" about it that I often have when I feel confident that something will work out the way I hope. Maybe that's because I have been so ambivalent about it for so long. But in any case, Hubs and I are "all in" if I get an offer.

In other news, I had a ridiculous quasi-emergency doctor's appointment on Friday and I am still sort of rattled by it. Not anxious, not really even worried, just perplexed and a bit riled up regarding bedside manner and doctor-patient communication. Short version: I called my OB/GYN office to make an appointment about some very unpleasant goings-on that I thought were related to my birth control. I left a message for my doctor's nurse, and I got a call back about an hour later (while at work, mind you) that the doctor wanted me to come in "immediately". But little/no explanation about what she thought was up. And I hurtled myself to the burbs as instructed and had some tests done, all the while NO ONE is telling me why the doctor was so urgent AND the doctor herself wasn't even in the office that day. So I got very little information and a big mini-freakout. The nurse assured me that they "ruled out the potentially serious" problems, and that I shouldn't lose any sleep, and that I should make an appointment with the doctor for this week.

And while I have more questions than answers at this point, I'm quietly thankful and praising God that I can say that I am not anxious. And mean it. It helped to consult with two dear nurse friends (thanks K and roommate!) on Friday, but still, it's pretty remarkable that I am not crawling out of my skin with worry over "what is going on". As K reminded me, I am evidence that The Spirit is at work in people's lives! If you've known me for more than a year or so, you know how evident that work is; chipping and hacking away at thick roots of anxiety and fear.

Anyway. In summary, want the job, have no update, may or may not have some women's health issues going on, strangely calm about the whole thing. Thankfully.