Out of Left Field

As per usual, blog silence is a dull cover for the mayhem swirling around in our life.

We had our preliminary adoption application accepted a couple of weeks ago, with one pretty major caveat: We may not qualify to adopt from our top-choice country. Or countries.

The best we can tell, the countries with the best track record for transparency and a Child First model are also the countries who have extreeeeeeeeemely strict qualifications for their adoptive parents. Since we want to stick with a country program that intentionally steers very clear of potential child trafficking, and that focuses on providing supports and health care to a child and her family with the first priority of keeping families intact, we are subjecting ourselves to a greater level of scrutiny. We were fine with that, until it bit us in the ass.

You see, my dear Hubs was NOT involved with a small kerfluffle when he was about 20 years old, but his friends WERE involved, and the whole lot of their video-game-playing, skate-boarding selves were arrested. Les was found Not Guilty, and as far as we know, the incident has been expunged from his record. But our top-choice countries apparently have a zero-tolerance policy in regards to arrest history. Like, not even one arrest for any reason, whether you were found guilty or not. Our excitement to dive into the formal application and home study has been dampened significantly. The agency we are working through has said that there is a very similar case being heard by our preferred country's adoption courts this month, so once that case has been decided, we'll know more about whether they are willing to make exceptions for adult upstanding citizens who happened to hang around with hooligans when they were 19 years old.

I'm actually going to a second adoption info session tonight. I want to go and hear more information about the specific countries we're considering, and about some that maybe we hadn't considered. We pray sort of limply about what to do next.

And in the meantime, some new craziness!

I woke up this morning to an email message from the National Bone Marrow Donor Registry I had signed up for with a blood sample in 2008. Turns out, I may be a match for a patient in need of some healthy marrow. They sent me some online forms, FAQ sheets, and videos. I skimmed over them and talked to Les for about 5 minutes before I replied via the link in the email that I was willing to hear more. They called me just a few hours later to talk about the procedure and go over my medical history over the phone. And then she asked me if I would give consent to more forward with the matching procedure, and I said "yes" with my heart beating in my throat.

I have been buzzed with excitement all day. If I could actually save someone's life with just some minor aches and pains and a couple of days of inconvenience, I would TOTALLY do it. The deal is that the doctors will go over my info and my sample and determine the best course of action for the patient. I could get a call any time between tomorrow and two months from now saying that they want to go ahead with the donation, and call me in for more medical tests and screenings and stuff. If I do not get a call within two months, I will get an email stating that they have moved on with another type of treatment, or that they have in some other way decided that they don't need my marrow.

The catch, of course, is that I can't get pregnant between now and when they call me to come in for the procedure.

Which is part of the reason that I am feeling so pumped today. Honestly, I think this may be exactly the "external forces acting on me" that I needed to be OK with taking a break from the charting, the anxiety, the planned and scheduled and 0% sexy sex, the "How to Get Pregnant The Fast and Fun Way" book reading. We kind of need a break. I need a break. We can focus on other things, like getting the house ready for a Safe Families home visit, adoption application work, and exercising and eating healthier, and actually just having some relaxed fun in and out of the bedroom.

The Marrow Registry coordinator that I spoke to today said that on the long end of the timeline, it could be up to a total of 4 months between now and when I would have completed the procedure - up to two months of medical deliberation on the front end, plus up to another 2 months between determining that all systems are go to when the donor is healthy and stable enough to receive the marrow. We could change our minds at any point, but that could delay the patient getting the treatment he or she needs.

We've decided that we're gonna just do it. Maybe save someone's life, plus a chance to lay off my growing anxiousness to see TWO PINK LINES that never come. I feel a bit lighter already.