ooops, i did it again

yes, yes, i just used a britney spears song as my blog post title. i used ren and stimpy a few posts ago, so just remember that anything goes if the song fits....

so yep, i did it again. i doubted. i let my fear strangle me. i found all kinds of selfish little loopholes for questioning whether the Lord was good, mistook peace for apathy, decided that the only way that God can speak to me is through neon signs and pulsing happiness.

ha.

wrong!

so after i wrote that tepidly pleased post about the new job yesterday, all kinds of good and warm and marvelous things started coming up to me and giving me big kisses. (oh, i wish i meant that literally, but alas). i talked to my friend about the executive director job, the one i had worried was my real EPIC next step that i was just too chicken to take, and he and i both agreed that it wasn't a great fit for me right now, and he encouraged me to take the other job and to stay involved with the board. relief washed over me. no more twisting and turning about having been too fearful to take a job at which i would have been rubbish!

next i actually talked to my boss, a conversation i had been dreading, and filled with guilt about leaving my coworkers in a lurch and these events i have been planning up in the air. not only did it go remarkably well, but she even arranged for me to contract part-time to help transition until they hire someone. extra cash + no guilt! bonus bonus.

i got calls and cheers and warm wishes from all my dear ones last night after i changed my facebook status to indicate the job-quitting. a reminder of how happy everyone is to hear that i will be doing something more challenging and meaningful than the tedious box moving and label making i have been doing here lately.

and then, just when i was walking down the sidewalk from some friends' house last night after a long over-due catching up chat, i looked up and saw a rare star-speckled city night sky. i smiled wide and stared up and felt all warm and fuzzy and loved. and then a bright orange shooting star sliced through the sky like a sparkly surprise kiss.