somebody to love

find me somebody to love
find me somebody to love
somebody somebody somebody somebody somebody find me somebody to love!
can't anybody find meeeeeeeeee somebody to love????

ok. i got that out of my system.

mom's service was yesterday. it was beautiful. amazing, actually, and so so so good to be around people who loved her. over 200 people. and of those 200 or so people, there were even like 15 people there who came just to support me, and i am so thankful. church friends, old friends, college friends, rogers park friends, high school friends.

it occured to me that i actually had MORE people around me and loving on me than my sister and her husband or my brother and his wife. my cloud of love was big and fluffy and i thank God for you all. because i needed y'all. i did. i'm not ashamed to admit that. and i didn't feel lonely at all. not for one second.

honestly, i'm sort of amazed that through all of this i have not even had time to get all pity-party with myself. i have not felt lonely or pining or achy in my singleness. (i'm shocked too).

BUT.

my uncle did happen to make a comment during his rememberance of my mom during the service that shot a flinch of blushing almost-shame through me. he was delivering his reflection on mom's life and included the line:
"She got to see two of her three children happily married."

my best friend from high school assures me that she could see my twitch of shock from 7 pews behind me where she sat.

that plus the people who kept coming up to me at the service marvelling that i wasn't married. and the email from my sister this morning that was a message from her boss and his wife who were just stunned that i am unmarried. they had never seen me or talked with me before saturday, but they made a point to go on and on to my sister about how great i am and how is it possible that i am single?

i know some of you out there have been praying for me to meet "the one". keep it up. i'm ready. and i'm in a strange place of calm seriousness about it. as in "ok, i think it's time. please, Jesus, make it so."

plusssss....i may have drunkenly signed back up for eharmony last night. sharing a bottle of wine with my roommate and debating whether i should go ahead and just take advantage of their ridiculously cheap 3 month package, in their attempt to woo me back. so we'll see. what's $30 if it nudges me closer to the right person?

and so, whether it be eharmony, or one of you, or my sister's boss, or a chance meeting, or Jesus (ok, i guess technically it's Jesus no matter what), i'm putting it out there:

find me somebody to love
find me somebody to love love love love