super freak

according to the 100% accurate statistical flagship known as Cosmo magazine, less than 2% of american women over the age of 22 have never had sex.

of course, of the 6 "incredible but true" virgins they uncovered to interview for this article, the oldest one was 23. the tag line for the story was something like "we didn't know they still existed - tales of real-life virgins!" like they had discovered a new breed of ceolacanth or something trolling the silt in darkest peru.

please.

oh, the perils and pains they must have endured! the shame and public defamation! "their reasons for keeping their v-card may surprise you!" the story goes on to talk about how some of them desperately want to have sex, they just haven't met the right guy or "want to wait until they are truly in love" or other such nonsense. the story is quick t point out that these are attractive, healthy, well rounded girls. they are not deformed! they are just like other people! they have no known mental or physical problems that prevent them from being capable of sex!

well, it may not have been worded quite like that, but you get the picture.

i wonder what would happen if i wrote a letter to the editor and confessed to being a 31 year old virgin. would i end up on national geographic? would they do a "mythbusters" show about me?

anyway. i wish i was a better google searcher, i would find out what else is "less than 2%" of the population. maybe things like "less than 2% of girls over 22 have a glass eye" or "less than 2% of girls over 22 have ever windsurfed around the world" or "less than 2% of girls over 22 have been attacked by naked mole rats while hiking in the desert."

sometimes i wish i had given it up a long time ago. like those glass-eyed girls or the naked mole rat attack survivors, sometimes i just wish i could be "normal" like everybody else and not carry my scarlet V like a badge of sexual incompetence.

if i think about it too hard, i do start to feel like a superfreak. and feel some regret and disappointment. i have to turn back to the BELIEVE mantras and keep choosing to believe that they are true. and *hope* that someone some day will be happy to know that his superfreak didn't get her freak on with everyone who tried to get into her pants...

i'll keep my prayin' fingers on.