get me to the church on time

54 days, my friends.

54 days!

holy cow. that suddenly does not feel like a very long time. especially when other people have started losing sleep on my behalf. my to-do list is 2 pages long (unless you consult "theknot.com", which will rat me out and tell you that i have 172 tasks left to do before May 30). even the caterer, who has been all "no problem" until now got a bit frantic in his email to me this week. we're meeting with him on saturday to go over the details and calm everyone's nerves.

i'm beginning to understand how brides go way over their budgets, too. at this point, i definitely feel the impulse to say, do, and spend whatever it takes to get check things off that list. i did finally delegate a page-worth of tasks to Yale, and he seems eager to tackle them with gusto. i resigned my control-freak fear and yielded to his request that he get to address all the invitations. his script is a total mess of chicken scratch, but his print is actually quite lovely. much nicer than mine. even if i did have to instruct him that he must use an inky gel or fountain pen in black ink to write them. he had reached for a standard junk-drawer bic until i smacked his hand in horror.

the big stuff is figured out. and some of the little things that i enjoy, like attendant gifts, honeymoon flip flops and flowy dresses, favors, and garlands. i have no idea what i will do for flowers. it's almost like i love them all too much to choose. did you ever have that dilemma when you were a kid? that you loved all your 'my little ponies' so much you couldn't choose just one to hide in your back pack to take to school, for fear of upsetting all the other ponies in the stable and feeling all day that you had made the wrong choice? that cotton candy was way too traditional and expected, and why hadn't you gone with the neon-haired baby pegasus instead? i cannot decide. i love them all so much. i may just drive down to the local grocery store the day before the wedding and grab whatever catches my fancy and fill out the bouquet with whatever can be picked in the yard.

yikes.

anyway, i know this much: Yale and i will be there, and our friends and family. there will be food, and hopefully drink, and a minister will be there. and at the end of the day, we'll be married.

hopefully everyone will get to eat, drink, dance, chat, and admire the pretty flowers and decorations. hopefully the portapotties will be there, and chairs, and cupcakes and twinkling glowy lights. hopefully no one will be running around like a crazy person to pull it off. it sure won't be me. i'll be getting married, so even if i walk down the unmowed aisle with a fistfull of dandelions, i'll be happy.